What is an appropriate response to walking into your room and seeing your roommate wearing a shirt that is clearly yours and was definitely in one of your drawers? Like, I understand that you are moving and that most of your stuff is in your other apartment. But if it’s in your other apartment, why not stay there then? Why continue living in a cramped dorm when you can stay in your own room and freely do whatever the fuck you want? And why take my things without asking me? You have my phone number, you could’ve asked before making such a bold move. We barely even talk; I really don’t know you at all and definitely not to the point where you can just wear my things as you please. It seems so odd. If I didn’t walk in at that point, would I have even gotten that shirt back? Were you rifling through my things a long time before you decided on that shirt? Have you taken things in the past without me realizing it? Why did I say, “Oh yeah, that’s fine” when clearly I do not find it to be fine at all? Why is this blog post 90% questions? Whyyyyyyyy

Ah I hope that post didn’t come off as me fishing for compliments or anything, because that wasn’t my intention. I don’t mean that I’m the worst person in the world, but at the same time I can admit that I do sucky things sometimes, just like everyone else. I am late to meet friends. I lose my phone. I get really drunk in Philadelphia and drunk dial a million people. I kinda suck. It’s all good.

And I think you’re cool too and GPS is your friend.

Today I cried. I don’t even really know how it happened, it just did. One moment I am sitting there basically okay and the next my nose is a geyser spewing liquid snot and my contacts are dislodged floating around my eyeballs. It wasn’t pretty. Definitely not endearing. Slightly traumatic? Highly embarrassing.

I’ve spent the last couple days having a one person pity party which basically culminated in the conclusion that I suck. I suck at being a girlfriend. I suck at being a friend. And I definitely suck at being a functioning human being. Yesterday, I didn’t even realize I hadn’t eaten anything all day until I was drinking my first beer. I’ve only eaten half a sandwich today now that I think of it.

I spent my train ride thinking about, well, everything and I thought of all the times I’ve felt bad before and I thought about all of the times I’ve felt better afterwards and how this is just another time. And I still think I suck, but I also think that everyone else sucks too, and we’re all just trying to do the best we can with our lives and our attempts aren’t always successful and sometimes they are.

I suck, and you suck too, but everyone sucks, and we’re all going to be okay, and there is no use to focusing on the bad. Basically.

I lost my phone last night. I am such a fucking idiot. I know I had my phone about midway through the night because I remember texting about the dude who asked me to go to his hotel with him, and I had my phone as we were leaving because we all got separated and Cheska called me to meet up. Which means I left it in the stupid cab. I don’t know why I didn’t just leave it in my purse. So fucking stupid. I have destroyed my room looking for it. I nearly murdered my roommate when she told me to turn off the light. I wanted to murder the Verizon guy when he acted like I was an asshole for daring to ask if there was anything he could do to track my phone. But really the only person I should be angry at is myself. Why am I incapable of holding onto a phone. So dumb.

Is there even a point to life without a smart phone? I think not.

Nuvaring should have Beyonce’s Single Ladies playing in the background of their commercials, specifically when she’s all, “if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.” This is the best idea I’ve had all day.